Effective Feedback 2

Positive, constructive feedback can be very helpful. Even criticism and negativity can be turned around into something that helps you improve in the future.

I remember one instance when feedback made an immediate, life-changing impression on me. My coach said, “You seem very unhappy in your current job. Two years (I had just renewed a 2-year contract–guess I wasn’t listening to my body) is a long time to be unhappy.” It was accurate, factual and reflected what was happening with me. It wasn’t criticism, or advice–just an observation of feelings and fact.

From that day, I decided to pursue other options. It was difficult, because I was an expat, which meant that my housing, water, electricity and other parts of my life were controlled by the company I was working for. Plus I was making a huge expat bonus. But it turned out that all the money and perks were actually a trap, keeping me from my true purpose.

For some reason, I actually felt that as long as my husband and kids were happy, it was OK for me to make decisions that made ME unhappy. Hopefully I’ve learned that it’s ok to make decisions for my own happiness, too.

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