When Caleb Kim said to me, “You are going to be a blessing, ” to be honest, I didn’t really believe it. But when he said it several times, each time with terrific confidence, it started to sink in. And it became part of the person I want to be.

Sometimes a coach can add enthusiasm that you don’t have right now. It’s not fake. It’s not manipulative. The coach just sees a different side of reality that you aren’t seeing yet.

It’s part of the so-called Yin and Yang of life. Yin is the passive, accepting side of you that is afraid to lose face, to fall behind, to miss an opportunity. The Yang is the side of you that is passionate, that has a spirit of growth and a desire to achieve. Both sides are there, but what a shame to focus on one side to the exclusion of the other. Most of us do just fine at being passive and fearful. Imagine being equally good at the active, growing side of ourselves!

For me to create enthusiasm in you, I have to be engaged genuinely with you. I can sound excited, but if it’s artificial, you will smell it. But if I’m truly interested in you, and want what’s best for you, I can help you get excited about yourself when I see something exciting happening in your life.  You can feel my  pride and excitement as I get to watch you transform.

Enthusiasm can’t be planned. If I’m with you in the moment, I won’t be looking at my notes to make an appropriately enthusiastic remark. I’m just happy for you.

I tend to be a perfectionist. I set very high standards for myself and tend to look at how much is left to be done, rather than how far I’ve come. So a bit of enthusiasm can really help me out.

For example, I love my work on the school board. One reason is that I can see such a vast difference over the past four years. The school is filled with resources and books; the teachers are more well-trained and dedicated. More kids are coming. Salaries are up. And whenever I’m there, my friends tell me how much they appreciate me.

On the other hand, I just quit a volunteer job I had been doing. I also did a lot of good work at that job–created two 60-page magazines with no prior experience. Started up an e-newsletter, which has been getting excellent reviews. But I was not interested in continuing with that, mainly because the people I work with (one in particular) was more negative than positive, and didn’t see my work as important.

I wasn’t getting paid for either job, but some choice words of encouragement went a long way for me on the first one. I’d love to do the same for you.

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