Learning how to give feedback

Learning how to give feedback is an important skill–not advice, not criticism, not compliments. Just a third-person viewpoint without emotional attachment.

The more I practice it, the more I’m finding feedback useful in everyday situations. It allows me to check perceptions. Sometimes the way a person talks doesn’t send the message they want people to receive. By holding up a mirror to someone, I can find out about distortions in what I thought I heard.

But it takes energy. Being able to give feedback requires me to be 100% present in the moment, and to be genuinely curious and nonjudgmental, so the feedback is natural and not rehearsed. Providing purposeful, reflective thoughts is a great gift.

I appreciated Nick Bosk, ICA instructor’s, feedback on our getting connected call. He said, “Christi, you sound like an authentic person. That will help you find what you want for yourself.” It’s not every day someone says something so thoughtful and encouraging. I do feel that honesty and authenticity is one of my strengths, and it’s good to hear someone else say so.

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