If I want to dis-empower my husband about helping make breakfast in the morning, it’s quite easy. All I have to do is make a few remarks about burnt eggs, add a little eye-rolling, and step in and do it myself.

If I want to empower him to make breakfast, all I have to do is stay out of the kitchen and let him have fun and experiment, regardless of the results, to his heart’s content. And a positive comment from time to time can’t hurt.

I went through a serious depression a few years ago. My counselor asked me if my husband was supporting me. Thankfully, I was able to answer that YES, he is very attentive, making valuable suggestions about my sleeping habits, eating patterns, exercise… The counselor was impressed, but said we had forgotten the one thing that is needful–that I needed to be the one to figure out what I wanted and needed. I needed to tell myself when I was tired or hungry or needed to blow off some steam.

That’s empowering–trusting me to make decisions that will benefit me and my family. Letting me grow up. Seeing the strength that is inside and trusting it to grow.

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